Saturday, March 19, 2011

Australian Life is sordid mistress.

As you may very well know, Im Australian.
Australian life is much different then life in other places, for instance. When I mow my lawn, I need to watch out for a few things. These things include, but are not limited to; Wombats, Snakes, Deadly deadly spiders, Kangaroo young and Crocodiles.
Now, my house is in the Suburbs, close to the city of Adelaide, the position of my house allows for these native wild life to roam my back yard like nobody's business, oh and don't even get me started on the koalas that rest on the tin roof of my house.
I'm a reasonable man, much like other Australians my age, so I respectful ask the creatures to leave in my native aboriginal language (as all Australians can speak this). To no avail however I was forced to get out my shot gun, and shoot all of the animals, excluding the Kangaroo I ride to work.
I had a grand barbecue that night with my mates, as we drank Jim bean and watched the AFL.

So kids, the moral of this story is never trust a word I say, because I bullshit a lot.
I'll post a "real" post tomorrow, Im feeling really ill and really shouldn't be on the computer right now.


  1. I couldn't handle the snakes (uck), but I would love to be surrounded by so much wildlife.

  2. LOL. Your belly aches from all that Wombat and Koala meat.

  3. everything in Oz seems to be poisonous...crazy wildlife

  4. I have a few koalas on a stick from last nights BAH-B-KEW. If you want I could lob one your way, mate.